5 March 2007

Cheated by Life...

I feel like life has cheated me out of some of the best things out there. Life has been cheating me out of stuff from the day I was born. A simple example, Life has made and decided that I should be tall, which has cheated me out of wearing certain types of clothes, and means I have to search through massive amounts of stores before I can find a pair of pants, jeans, shirts, jumpers, etc. that fit me. I have size 46 shoes, which means I went to three cities to find a pair of sneakers that fit me in the model I wanted to buy, and means that my feet don't fit in certain makes of shoes because they are a different shape. Those are simple examples of me being cheated by life.

Life has cheated me because the thing I wanted most over the past year, and in the future, I can't have. Circumstances can be worked with if you want something bad enough, which I did, yet still it wasn't good enough, I wasn't good enough. Still the effort I put into it wasn't good enough for life, as life decided that I wasn't going to get what I wanted. Life didn't bother to think that what I wanted, and deserve, was right there. Life screwed me by not having a little patience and giving me the time I deserve to have what I wanted. I can't change what I've experienced over my life, and I can't change what point I have reached in my life, but to screw me over because I couldn't show who I really am, what I stand for and why I made my choices, most importantly what I'm capable of, and not bothering to find out, is a punch below the belt. Why is it when I want to be happy and make those choices that make me happy (however much they change me in the future), Life decides that those choices aren't good enough? Why? What is it about me that gives Life the right to screw me over? And would it have been any different if I had a little more experience with Life? Don't the choices you make for your future form you as much as the choices you've made in the past? Don't the things you want to see and experience in the future count as much towards who you are, as the things you've seen and experienced? The past can't be changed, and just because you've seen and done things in the past doesn't mean you're fixed to be that person. Life seems to have decided that there is no such thing as potential. Even though potential doesn't always show up, it should never be ignored, or taken away.

WHO IS LIFE TO CHEAT ME OUT OF SOMETHING I WANTED, IN THIS MANNER, WITHOUT GIVING ME THE CHANCE TO REALISE THE POTENTIAL IT HAD? I DESERVED THAT CHANCE...I WORKED HARD FOR THAT CHANCE...


Life seems to have hidden four aces up its sleeve while playing poker with me over the past year, and that makes not having what I had all the more difficult to accept.

SCREW WITH LIFE, BECAUSE IT WILL CERTAINLY SCREW WITH YOU....

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